Some people will tell you to maintain a distance of 5 feet, or 10 feet, or 20 feet. The truth however, is that it varies.

It’s never one answer. Instead of trying to remember an exact distance for every situation, just think about it as you go through your daily routine. How close is too close?

For example when you’re in a crowded elevator in a shopping mall, in broad daylight it may be perfectly acceptable to you to allow someone to stand 1 inch away from you.

At 3am however, in the dark parking lot of a bad neighborhood, it may be perfectly acceptable for you to maintain a distance of 50 feet.

Just think about this ahead of time, or as you enter the situation, so that when someone enters this “safety-circle” around you, you will understand why your radar is going off, or why you feel uncomfortable. You won’t lose valuable time trying to figure this out at the time, you’ll know, and you can act.

You should try to always enforce these boundaries, to make escape possible and avoid a physical fight.

Movement

One of the ways to enforce your boundaries is by moving. If you are on a lonely street and someone is coming right at you, there is nothing wrong with changing sides and walking on the other side of the street (you should however, continue to project confident body language). If he changes his direction to keep coming at you it can be a clue as to what his intentions are. You can better determine if he is intentionally coming at you or if it’s a coincidence.

Verbal boundary enforcement

Another way to enforce your boundaries is just by telling them to stop. Don’t be afraid of seeming rude. Anyone with any sense should understand safety. A lot of people will try to start a conversation with you so that you let them get closer, don’t fall for it. They have common go-to questions like asking you for directions or asking you for the time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling them to back off, and giving the time or directions from a distance. Just holding up your hand to indicate “stop” and saying “whoa” or “can I help you” can work, just be sure to get a lot more bossy if they don’t seem to take a hint.

Remember you can always start screaming too, that works.

Physical moves

There is one safety circle that should always be defended with physical force. that’s the one between your body and his. No one has any business touching you, grabbing you, shoving you, or anything like that.

If you are in the victim-to-victor stance and they push closer, past your hands, it’s time to fight back.

If they grab you or attack you before you can get your hands up, also go-time.

Summary

Just be aware of how close you are comfortable having people in different situations. If you actively think about this you won’t have those confused moments where you wonder why you feel so uneasy. You’ll be ready to act fast.